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An Open Letter to David Tyree

Dear David,

I hope you’re enjoying your life in the wake of your momentous Super Bowl performance. One moment in the spotlight has given you access to not only fame and fortune, but empowered you with a chance to speak and be heard in the national forum. I have to ask, though: did you take one too many hits to the head out there on the field? I see you sat down with the wingnuts over at the National Organization for Marriage and, in an interview that did a very neat job of transforming you from Super Bowl Legend to Super Bigoted Lame-o, proclaimed that gay marriage will lead to “anarchy.”

Oh, and who can forget the epic wisdom of a statement like,”You can’t teach something that you don’t have … so two men will never be able to show a woman how to be a woman.”

Yeah, that’s a good point. Who taught you to play football, again? Oh. And who taught him?

Ah. So who taught the first guy? Did he just emerge from the womb, ready for the gridiron?

Yeah, shut up.

You then added a big ole cherry-shaped turd to this bullshit sundae by saying, “How can marriage be marriage for thousands of years and now all the sudden because a minority, an influential minority, has a push or agenda … and totally reshapes something that was not founded in our country.”

May I refer you to the small matter of interracial marriage, heatedly contested some 44 years ago? I understand that folks in your former line of work often suffer head trauma, but perhaps you should expand your myopic viewfinder and regard the hateful ogres of the recent past with greater scrutiny before hurrying to emulate them. You are, in effect, saying “I choose to ignore that my own people had to fight, within living memory, for the very right I seek to deny others.”

Is this the message you want to send? Is this the legacy you want to leave for a future who will surely regard such comments with the same eye-rolling disgust we now reserve for the racists and their ilk?

As someone who is not only a proud transwoman but a lesbian and, yes, the product of an interracial marriage, I want to thank you for taking the time to deride and dismiss my suitability for an institution whose “sacredness” has been questionable since its inception.

Why am I thanking you? Because when woefully-underinformed, bigoted hatemongers like yourself take the time to speak up on an issue, it galvanizes those who don’t share your malicious dedication to inequality and helps those who would see true liberty and justice for all become reality to garner greater support.

I’ll be showing your video to all my super gay friends, Davey boy. And they’ll, in turn, show it to their friends and allies, who will show it to legislators and activists who will remember just how ridiculous and hateful your little rant sounded when it comes time to fight the good fight for equality.

And that, my friend, will be your legacy.

But seriously, guy – nice job catching that football.





PS – In case you forgot what a total tool you are, here’s a link to your eternally-captured-for-history-to-judge nonsense:


Published in"The Gay."AmericaIdiotsLGBTPrideRantsUnacceptableWTF?


  1. The video doesn’t work, but with those powerful words you wrote handing him his ass I don’t think it’s necessary.

    That’s exactly how I feel about him. Totally unnecessary.

  2. Thanks for reading and for the comment, sister.

    Seriously, he’s an asshat.

    Also, what browser are you using? I’m not sure I made it mobile-friendly, but it seems to work on all three of the major (PC-based, at least) desktop browser flavors.

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