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Jackson Comes Alive!

Yeah, sorry about that, Pete. Trying to make a point here.
Yeah, sorry about that, Pete. Trying to make a point.

Things Peter Frampton and I have in common:

1) We both reside in Ohio.

2) We both enjoy the dulcet and masterful tones of Django Reinhardt.

3) We’re both pretty f-ing pissed off that people keep stealing our Obama yard signs.

I mean, come ON. All I wanna be is free to support the candidate of my choice. Is it so hard to believe that I deserve the respect of my right-wing neighbors, rather than their scorn and midnight sign-lifting skullduggery?

What kind of world are we living in here? I mean, they have TEN THOUSAND (actual number: 17) McCain/Failin’ signs scattered in the yards near my home. Is it REALLY necessary to boost my lonely Obama sign? And, if you’re going to steal that one, why on earth would you leave all the signs for the Ohio Democratic nominees? Does your percolating, first-amendment-ignoring hatred for my political affiliation extend only to the Federal level, or are you (as I suspect) so woefully ignorant of local and state politics that you left the signs intact for fear that one might be for a Republican candidate?

There are four days left ’til the election. At no time during the election year have I felt the urge to go a-prowling through the neighbor’s yards, plucking their ubiquitous McCain/Unable cardboard bits from their aluminum stems like so many red-hued flowers in a garden of hate. Yet here I stand (figuratively speaking), my own small plot ravaged by the petty larceny of someone bent on breaking all the rules.

Seriously, believe what you want, people. Support whomever you choose. Just try to remember that, as Heinlein taught us, your right to swing your fist ends at another person’s face (well, an inch or two away, actually) and your right to rock(ing chair) the vote ends at the edge of my property.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a video camera, a length of rope, and a sign to buy.

Published inAmericaIdiotsNonsenseNot-so-fun stuffPolitics

9 Comments

  1. I liked this woman’s approach – she created a sign they can’t steal (though I suppose they could paint over it):
    http://bit.ly/2xnaVk

  2. @ChiaLynn: Sweet! I may have to give that a go. Perhaps I’ll be able to pay myself back for it with the generous tax cut I’ll receive along with 95% of my peers if Obama is elected.

  3. Why do you assume it is McCain supporters that are stealing your sign?

    I would think it’s an Obama supporter. Can’t buy signs with food stamps, you know.

  4. @Trovan: HA! Oh, Trov, I can always count on you for a witty riposte. 🙂 Besides, everyone knows that Obama signs aren’t made, they’re grown. From hope, love, and a little bits of the ship that brought him here from Krypton. 🙂

  5. Maybe it’s an Obama supporter stealing the signs to give to other Obama supporters who don’t have their own signs….you know – spreading the wealth.

    HA! I jest.

    Couldn’t resist, sorry.

  6. @Karen: Tee-hee! That’s okay. We’ll all joke about it later when we’re working at the National Employment Collective (Fun Division).

  7. @ Everybody: I think it should be obvious, but just in case there’s any question, I feel as though I should make it clear that while I support Obama and his candidacy, I don’t hold him up as The Last Son of Krypton (a title he’s joked about himself). I love that we live in a country where everyone’s free to support the candidate of their choice, and my beef isn’t necessarily with people who support the other party so much as it is with morons who think that it’s acceptable to steal other people’s property in the name of suppressing an opinion with which they disagree (and that goes for anyone who decides to steal a McCain/Palin sign, too).

  8. Sra SraNo Gravatar

    Dude, booby trap it so a giant bear trap comes up on them, or a net falls on them, or they get slime dumped on them! Revenge…

    Love the rocking chair joke, btw.

  9. You should tape an Obama sign and a McCain sign back to back, and then suspend it so that it spins in the wind.

    Actually, I think I’m gonna do that.

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